On a personal level, my life is pretty sweet, I have good friends, the kind of friends you can rely on, I have a lovely wife who I love dearly, I have Gracie who's a story on her own, I have family, I own a couple of houses (1 of which I live in obviously). Things are good! However, there's always been one level on which I frustrate myself royally, achievements.
Now I know everything above is an achievement, and some of them big ones, I'm talking about the little personal stuff. Not quite a bucket list, I'm not that old or (as far as I'm aware) in any immediate danger of kicking said bucket.
Back in school days I had a bit of ambition, but never followed it through, up until the age of 16, I wanted to write, I had a pretty good imagination, decent attention to detail, could put points across and was borderline creative, I thought I could write things people would be interested in. I wanted to be a journalist. Come 16 and A-Level options time I convinced myself I wasn't good enough for this and went down the safe, 'I'm a geek and I'm good with numbers and computers option' (which I am) took maths/sciencey A-levels and lacked enthusiasm for 2 years. (Apart from stats modules in Maths, I seemed to be reasonably good at them naturally and enjoyed them much, looking at my job now of course...)
This lack of enthusiasm carried through so I never actually wanted to go to university, but I did for a while as that was my next prescribed step, I did ok, but circumstances went against me and I dropped. I don't regret going, some of the people there were top quality and I made some good friends, I just wish I'd been there out of desire not duty.
Work wise, I always have been ambitious, I've always tried to push myself, try and get to a more senior level, but I must have been successful in around 10% of the internal interviews I've gone for. I've got a chance to try out a senior role now, I'm giving it my best but I still feel I'm the underdog long term, but we'll see. At times I've wallowed and as a result maybe missed chances, there are times I've felt frustrated, I'm not exactly known for my unshakable self confidence and at times I can be slow to recover from losing out. This is the year for moving on up I feel, I just have to make sure it happens.
It's not so much even about the money, yes I'd love a job which paid me royally, no more stressing about money, can have all the shiny things in the world, woo-hoo, nice, but not essential. Primarily I want to enjoy my job, have a feeling of responsibility. I'm not saying I don't enjoy what I have now, but I want... more. Exactly what I've been finding in my temp role. Worst thing could be if I do my 2 months then fail long term. Previously I assumed I'd enjoy such a role, but now I actually know that I do, back to before may be worse. Oh and reasonable money is a necessity I have a family and mortgage remember, I'm sure charity work would be rewarding, but I can't see it buying food!
The writing things hangs round too, and I've written stuff before, some I've posted on here, more I haven't, most I've never finished after convincing myself (probably accurately) that what I'm writing is shite, maybe it was a good idea to start but I killed it... I stuck the one short story on amazon, but it didn't sell (I didn't exactly push it either) it was horribly bad value for money anyway, but I thought the content was tolerable. But there must be an idea in there somewhere otherwise why would I have the continuing ambition to try. Self delusion? Distinct possibility, but seeing/reading some of the stuff on the kindle store, well let's just say there's hope for everyone.
I even have been writing reviews for amazon of late, just to see how people react to stuff I think. I'm ranked just inside the top 17,000 reviewers, so not exactly a write off, but not good by any stretch. But I'll climb over time, maybe.
I've always had ambitions to be fitter, I'm never going to be an athlete, I knew from the age of 10 and missing an open goal with a header for St Illtyds Primary team I was never going to be a footballer, or an athlete of any kind. But that's no reason to sit on my arse and be a fatty now is it. I've been thin, I've been 19+ stone and if I had to choose between the two... I'd choose neither, but more towards the smaller. I really like going to the gym, and I get a sense of relaxation from running, always have, my body however disagrees and breaks regularly, slowing progress to the point where it's an effort to get going again, like now. But I will be back gym count on it, and soon (Llanelli Half coming up in March!). Plus I'm getting quite fat again, well more fat than usual!
Well fuck all this wallowing in self pity, in 16 days I'm 30 and this year I'm going to do something about some of it. That's what new years resolutions are after all. Maybe not it all, and maybe I'll bomb at what I try, but as long as I do try, I can't do any more.
Oh and I'll also try writing here regularly again, it was doing OK and I neglected it, plus that writing thing I was on about...
Showing posts with label Lazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lazy. Show all posts
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Inspiration! Or lack of it!
I'm usually full of ideas, other people would say full of quite a bit more too, but for now I'm sticking with ideas. These ideas are great until typically I try and do something with them, once I enter the practical stage things go tits up.
Sure, I come up with solutions for things regularly enough in work, but that's work, it's what I'm paid for and if I didn't come up with suggestions, I'd no longer be paid for it quite soon. I assume the sense of necessity helps drive the process.
However, when it comes to recreational stuff, I quite often draw a blank. My latest idea that I've done bugger all with is to set up some kind of website to handle satirical stories, either by myself or through submission, and lets face it that's one amazingly unoriginal idea, but I'd be good for my somewhat rusty and failing HTML/General design skills. Easy you may think, well so did I.
What point got me? What point did I find insurmountable? Naming it. I went to google sites and couldn't think of ANYTHING to call it. So my enthusiasm died and nothing got done. Pathetic!! I honestly sat there looking at a tint tiny text box that anted the URL that it'd use and froze. Hmmm...
I once wrote a shortish story, it wasn't great, the plot was painfully contrived but it wasn't the worst thing I ever read. What happened to it? I typed up half of it, maybe a little less before just stopping! No idea why, to this day (which isn't long, I wrote it about 6 weeks ago) the last 50%+ of the story only exists in an A4 pad I carry back and fore to work (did I mention I miss my netbook?) and will no doubt be lost/damaged before it ever gets saved onto hard disk forever. Not that anyone would want to read it anyway!
I did finish and put out (via this blog) a different unrelated, much shorter story which I quite liked, but thats personal bias no doubt. About 15 people read it and were generally positive though!
(Wow I just linked to myself, how sad)
I'm not really sure what causes this level of half arsed-ness in some of the things I do, but it happens!! Maybe I'm pushing a topic I can't be bothered with, but honestly I don't think so.
Maybe I'm just lazy!
If that site ever does get put up, I will of course let you know.
Sure, I come up with solutions for things regularly enough in work, but that's work, it's what I'm paid for and if I didn't come up with suggestions, I'd no longer be paid for it quite soon. I assume the sense of necessity helps drive the process.
However, when it comes to recreational stuff, I quite often draw a blank. My latest idea that I've done bugger all with is to set up some kind of website to handle satirical stories, either by myself or through submission, and lets face it that's one amazingly unoriginal idea, but I'd be good for my somewhat rusty and failing HTML/General design skills. Easy you may think, well so did I.
What point got me? What point did I find insurmountable? Naming it. I went to google sites and couldn't think of ANYTHING to call it. So my enthusiasm died and nothing got done. Pathetic!! I honestly sat there looking at a tint tiny text box that anted the URL that it'd use and froze. Hmmm...
I once wrote a shortish story, it wasn't great, the plot was painfully contrived but it wasn't the worst thing I ever read. What happened to it? I typed up half of it, maybe a little less before just stopping! No idea why, to this day (which isn't long, I wrote it about 6 weeks ago) the last 50%+ of the story only exists in an A4 pad I carry back and fore to work (did I mention I miss my netbook?) and will no doubt be lost/damaged before it ever gets saved onto hard disk forever. Not that anyone would want to read it anyway!
I did finish and put out (via this blog) a different unrelated, much shorter story which I quite liked, but thats personal bias no doubt. About 15 people read it and were generally positive though!
(Wow I just linked to myself, how sad)
I'm not really sure what causes this level of half arsed-ness in some of the things I do, but it happens!! Maybe I'm pushing a topic I can't be bothered with, but honestly I don't think so.
Maybe I'm just lazy!
If that site ever does get put up, I will of course let you know.
Monday, 11 October 2010
Complaining - The only way to get your way?
Firstly, I've been a very lazy blogger. I've let things such as no Internet and doing lots of work on a house stop me!! Honestly where are my priorities!
As people who have read one of my earlier blogs would know, I've had some trouble with the ISP for my previous address, namely Plusnet. All those who give a damn will now love to hear I have cancelled with them, by avoiding their ludicrous cancellation rules. How did I do this? I complained that's how!
This lead me to think, I've dealt with numerous companies over the years, and they seem to have vastly varying levels of service. When I've come across the worst of this service and they refuse to do even the most basic of reasonable requests, I've gone straight through to complain.
My question is, should it be that way?
Why do basic service level employees of some companies stick so rigidly to obstructive practices? Personally I don't blame them, a human can only act within the freedom they're given and in the majority of companies I'm talking about, common sense and free thought is not encouraged.
Plus net are an example (sorry to bang on) their staff could have solved my problem in 20 seconds with a quick phone call, but they refused. Eventually their complaints manager (James Bailey, very helpful man) solved the situation with a 20 second call. Could not somebody at another level have already done this, they prob spent longer than that writing my response telling me they couldn't call. They wasted their time, my time writing the complaint and the Complaint Managers time looking into it and contacting me.
A bit of common sense at the start and things would have been done much much faster.
There must be 1000's of examples every day where customers have to complain about blatantly unfair procedures to get any joy. If companies a) treated their staff as things other than trained monkeys or b) considered the customer over whatever obstructive procedure was in the way in the first place they'd be more efficient and maybe they'd have happier customers.
Of course, there are financial benefits in being disruptive, if someone knowingly overcharged 50,000 customers and only 20,000 complain, they've made the extra on 30,000. Which very well may make any costs involved in handling the 20,000 complaints worthwhile. For example, if they delay had taken me into an new month with Plusnet, they'd have pocketed my £15 happily.
My advice, take nothing that seems unfair as read, kick up a fuss and you may get some joy. I've done the complaint handlers job before, and if most companies are like my employers, once it gets to complaint, the staff have the freedom to make fair decisions and the desire to do so also.
TTFN - Expect another post later, I'm brimming with ideas today!
As people who have read one of my earlier blogs would know, I've had some trouble with the ISP for my previous address, namely Plusnet. All those who give a damn will now love to hear I have cancelled with them, by avoiding their ludicrous cancellation rules. How did I do this? I complained that's how!
This lead me to think, I've dealt with numerous companies over the years, and they seem to have vastly varying levels of service. When I've come across the worst of this service and they refuse to do even the most basic of reasonable requests, I've gone straight through to complain.
My question is, should it be that way?
Why do basic service level employees of some companies stick so rigidly to obstructive practices? Personally I don't blame them, a human can only act within the freedom they're given and in the majority of companies I'm talking about, common sense and free thought is not encouraged.
Plus net are an example (sorry to bang on) their staff could have solved my problem in 20 seconds with a quick phone call, but they refused. Eventually their complaints manager (James Bailey, very helpful man) solved the situation with a 20 second call. Could not somebody at another level have already done this, they prob spent longer than that writing my response telling me they couldn't call. They wasted their time, my time writing the complaint and the Complaint Managers time looking into it and contacting me.
A bit of common sense at the start and things would have been done much much faster.
There must be 1000's of examples every day where customers have to complain about blatantly unfair procedures to get any joy. If companies a) treated their staff as things other than trained monkeys or b) considered the customer over whatever obstructive procedure was in the way in the first place they'd be more efficient and maybe they'd have happier customers.
Of course, there are financial benefits in being disruptive, if someone knowingly overcharged 50,000 customers and only 20,000 complain, they've made the extra on 30,000. Which very well may make any costs involved in handling the 20,000 complaints worthwhile. For example, if they delay had taken me into an new month with Plusnet, they'd have pocketed my £15 happily.
My advice, take nothing that seems unfair as read, kick up a fuss and you may get some joy. I've done the complaint handlers job before, and if most companies are like my employers, once it gets to complaint, the staff have the freedom to make fair decisions and the desire to do so also.
TTFN - Expect another post later, I'm brimming with ideas today!
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