Star Wars cash in

The first three Star Wars films are excellent, there's no getting round that in my eyes, they rank as one of the best film trilogies ever made and at the time they came with the appropriate levels of merchandise for the kiddies to want to buy (and if they kept hold of in good condition put on eBay for the ubergeeks to pay good money for now), I've no problem with that at all.

My problem is with the continual whoring out of everything Star Wars related to buy George Lucas another golden nob stroker (or something similar). The man, or indeed his marketing department, never seem to miss an opportunity to make just a little for cash from the franchise. Did we really need 3 sub-standard more films 16 years after the original trilogy reached it's natural conclusion? No. Did we need VHS box sets all slightly different to the previous, followed by DVD box sets, once again several versions slightly differing from the last? No. Thank the lord there's only been the 1 Blu-Ray version... SO FAR, there'll be more, there'll be an added scenes version and a 3D version and a 3D version with added scenes and the version with the out take included that has Carrie Fisher farting as she runs down a corridor...

There's the 3D cinema reissues, I'll pass on them thanks George, you do know a piece of shit... in 3D is still a piece of shit, it's just in 3D... Maybe when you get to episodes 4-6 I may, but until then, F.R.O.

Some of the things that have been done to these films is horrible, I'm not just talking about the "Noooooo" added to Jedi to match the piece of shit trilogy. What about in Star Wars when Han meets Jaba in Mos Eisley, it was cut, and then due to the future design of the Hutt character the scene no longer worked, so why wedge it in with awful effects. For those who don't know Han walks round Jaba, who at the time didn't have a tail, but when added back in, he would have, so Han steps on it and he yelps weirdly. No, stop it.

That brings me to the current Vodaphone adverts. Now previously C3P0 and R2D2 where used as bitches in some electric shop advertising campaign. Not happy, I think it was Comet or Currys. That was rough and the feedback I assume as negative, so why the fuck is Yoda, grandmaster motherfunking Yoda getting bitched out to promote Vodaphone services? The line has been crossed, the line is a dot to Lucas (or appropriate person who ok'd it). They won't rest til Mark Hamill is selling tampons on the back on London buses, Chedwbacca is doing pet shampoo and Wedge is selling his own brand potato wedges.

But he won't stop, he'll never stop it, what happens when the income dies down from these re-issues and the cartoon finishes? Does he re-issue again, probably. Does he make episodes 7-9? I really wouldn't be shocked. Does he rent some other CG cast member out to sell anything as long as the company are willing to pay? Inevitably.

The only time I'll accept this is if JaJa fucking Binks is used to sell rifle scopes, I'll be first in the queue for a go at that bitch.

May the 4th be with you

That's right everybody, it's Star Wars day!

This time as well for some added pointlessness there's been some kind of countdown to the day on starwars.com, indicating some new announcement. Please God don't be any more films.

But does Star Wars deserve this kind of attention? For a start I'm a fan of the first 3 films, and by first I mean initial, parts 4, 5 and 6. All except 6 are older than I am, but there is still something about them that makes them classic films, if I had to choose I'm more of a trek than a wars fan, but you can't deny the quality here.

Then there's the prequals... why? Apart from the last half hour or so of the third an absolute waste of time. I mean honestly, what the fuck is jaja binks? (or however you spell it).

I do feel over the years the franchise has been pushed to absolute breaking point, the new films were blatant cashing in on popularity, and as a money making exercise they worked. The original films have been reworked and changed and remastered and god knows what so many times, banged in a box and released it just leaves a bitter taste on times. Yes, that includes the Family Guy efforts.

And now this announcement today, if there is one, what is it? Remake? More films? I hope not!More cartoons, more likely. Some crap remastered new boxset, seems most possible. Either way can't see me buying it. But it probably will be what ever Lucas thinks he can make the most money out of at the moment.

I just hope (a new hope, get it??) he starts seeing it as a body of work not a cash point. Although I don't begrudge Mark Hamill the cash as he never really worked again did he. Poor bloke, especially when you think Harrison Ford did so well.