The whole world's a stage...

I'm going to be on TV!

Yesterday, around lunch time, my phone rang... 'Blocked' it said. I thought... no... can it be? The last time that appeared on my phone it was a producer from Pointless telling me (and of course Boucheron, teams of 2) that we'd passed the audition to appear on the show.

I eagerly answered the phone, hoping.. but expecting for some fecker to try and sell my mobile insurance or something. But no, it was good news that come the end of February our presence is requested to appear on the latest series of Pointless. Where of course we will smash it...

Now I've been on TV before, I was on fifteen-to-one as a bright eye'd and slightly gormless 18 year old, and was promptly dumped out in the first round. But I went to that with zero expectations, knowing that sonme of the people on that show could hand me my arse in a quiz, and as it was a quiz, my arse was promptly handed to me.

I (possibly) was in a crowd scene in Doctor Who once (The Vote Saxon episode) and I was on the Sport Wales in the background playing dodgeball once. Great stuff.

But this time, if the subjects fall OK etc, I think there's a possibility of us doing well. Who knows! Either way you'll be able to see our humiliation, or indeed rise to power in May type time on BBC1. I won't be able to tell anyone how we've done before it goes on air, or BBC snipers will find me and slay me deadshot style.

Only downside I can see is the rather strict wardrobe requirements, 5 outfits of particular styles and colours, now I'm a simple man (not that kind of simple) and honestly I don't own 5 outfits that meet this criteria, I barely own 5 outfits, so some shopping is required.

I am picking up my fancy dress costume for Saturday nights festivities (look out Swansea a minibus of superheroes is on route...) would a Batman outfit be good for use on the show? No? Well at least I asked!

3 days left til 30...

Give me my money back you bitch

I'm a little late jumping on to moan about this, as it happened Sunday, and anyone following my twitter would have already gathered my thoughts on this, but this Sunday I one of the biggest non-voluntary groups in the UK as a victim of crime.

Sunday was the Welsh Open of dodgeball. in sunny Pentwyn Leisure Centre, Cardiff. I led 'The Hoffmeisters' into battle as I have done several times before. We didn't enjoy the best of afternoons, firstly being let down by several people, some with valid reasons, others with unspecified ones! Then we proceeded to win just a solitary match (3-2 against the Ceredigion Pirates), coming 4th in our group and crashing out of the tournament.

But during the day the revelation struck that a team member, who shall remain nameless, had returned to our communal locker but when locking up had left several items of clothing out, resulting in some piked, chavvy SOB going through my stuff and nicking my wallet. Not the most intelligent clearly as in the same pocket was my bank card and the opposite pocket my phone, which would have had far better rewards than the cash in my wallet and a Credit Card they couldn't use.

Luckily the police guy handling has high hopes of a conviction in this instance. Let's hope yeah!

Return to the gym!

Tomorrow... tomorrow is going to be hard work. Tomorrow is the day I will return to the gym to begin training.

It's been a while, 6 months ago I was in quite good shape, stamina was good, could cover 10k with relative ease, could push myself considerably further, then generally things went tits up. Knee problem, appendix removal, another knee problem and I'm the size of a whale again, as if I'd never bothered training a moment in my life. (Let's face it it's not even a cute whale, like the one from Free Willy, it's a blimp of an obnoxious whale, like one of the ones what washes up on beaches and people can't get it back cos it's so heavy)

I dread to think what's going to happen once I venture back to the open plan area that is Merthyr Tydfil Leisure Centre cardio area, plus I also must to some upper body work after being absolutely embarrassing on a climbing wall this year. I'm not planning on doing anything too strenuous first time out, maybe 2 or 3 miles and a bit of rowing.

I will of course be surrounded by a strange combination that can only ever exist in a gym, lots of men who are in worse shape than me, lots of women who don't seem to actually do anything and then a few overly fit people that make us all feel bad.

Next Sunday is the always awesome Welsh Open of dodgeball and once again I'll be captaining the Hoffmeisters into action following a poor showing last time out. Don't mock, I can see your minds working dodgeball is a sport and a damn competitive one. Check it out http://www.ukdba.org/

Anyway, I'll post on my twitter feed how I've done and if I've lived. Until tomorrow!

An early morning jog

I'm shocked but somehow not surprised how unfit I've become. It's been a while since I did anything like training, my body has once again conspired against me to ensure the waistline expands.

I  was looking in quite good shape, for me, up until about 7/8 weeks ago, covering 6 or 7 miles at a time in the gym with no real hassle, ready for a 10k building up nicely for my 2nd attempt at a half marathon (all in aid of Velindre) then late one Saturday night I developed a pain in my side, a trip to the hospital and an operation later and I was sans appendix.

This left me unable to stand without looking like Quasimodo for weeks, thanks to a few complications, unable to train for longer. In fact to this day I'm still on doctors advice to 'take it easy' after my knee also went a bit funny moving house.

But this morning my current condition was brought into sharp focus, I was sauntering round the corner near Pentrebach train station when I saw the train pull in. Panic kicked in and I broke into a full on sprint (thankfully you can't really see me running from the platform). Thanks to an understanding train guard, who luckily did manage to spot me I made it, but I was shocked that a sprint of what could me no more than 150m left me absolutely knackered. Yes, it was uphill and twisty (the way up was along a disabled access ramp so went round a bit) but I know 3 months ago I would have done it faster, and been able to speak when I got on the train.

This has made me think, I need to get back into it, I can see already I've put on weight and that's a bad start, and somewhere I've been before (18 1/2 stone at my peak, and I look back at photos.. aghast sometimes). So first chance I get, back to the gym it is. Yes I know some people will think if it's only weight is the issue, diet. I'm of the opinion dieting doesn't work, or at least doesn't work alone, just as exercise wouldn't. Dieting is essentially partially starving yourself of certain things in order to force your body into a reaction, I'd rather eat properly (not stupidly) and work my body too, that's what we were designed to do, that is what I shall do.

Not tomorrow night though, tomorrow night I've gone and acquired nice seats to watch my blessed homeland get beat at football by Bulgaria, at the 'lovely' Lego Brick Stadium. Should be a good laugh and a few pints. But after that... gym all the way!

This time next year, I'll deliberately be late, just so I can sprint to the train and show it doesn't bother me! OK I wont, that would be stupid but I know what I mean! Hopefully next year I'll be able to do what I planned this, Swansea Bay 10k, Cardiff 10k, Cardiff Half Marathon. I'll be making my comeback to sports hopefully on the 24th in the Welsh dodgeball open, I haven't been arsed to sort the entry yet, but it's on my to do list. GO HOFFMEISTERS!

I've always had these crazy ideas of wanting to do more as well, to do exciting things. The woman I sit next to in work is climbing Kilimanjaro next year and it sounds horrible, cold, hard, etc and I find myself borderline jealous, I'd love to do that. I've always wanted to do the 24 hour version of the three peaks. I could never do any of these in my current condition of course, I can't even run for the bloody train,and one thing I'm not getting is any younger, but they are things I want to do.

But even the longest journey must start from where you stand as Lao Tzu once said, and he wasn't a stupid man. Stay tuned to this blog if you want to know how I'm doing, or even if you don't I'm not about to turn the blog into some kind of rocky style training montage. I'll still write about whatever's on my mind at the time... with no discernible pattern or structure...