Holy can't breathe Batman!

I've done some classy things in my time, but ending up in a welfare point in Swansea being attended too by paramedics, while dressed as Batman on Saturday night, that's gotta rank up there!

Among my many medical problems I'm asthmatic, but it's not that bad any more. Therefore last Saturday when struggling for pocket space (as there weren't any) in my fancy dress costume (wallet, phone, keys etc were located in a running belt round my waist) my inhaler was due to be passed to a pocketed up friend to carry. Downside was I forgot all about that while leaving, and so it remained in my mates house while I sped down the A465.

I realised this quite quickly, but thought, "Oh well, I won't need it anyway". Ha! Wrong motherfucker!

Anyway, it was a cracking night, we were looking classy as a group, someone even dressed up as Kato (just with the wrong hat), even though he was claiming to be the Green Hornet, his hat was white and his mask black...

Look how classy we looked!

Just need to teach Robin an appropriate superhero pose!

Anyway, it got too 12:45 or so and we hit Reflex as we usually do, but by this point I'd been struggling slightly with my chest for maybe 20 minutes, and was getting increasingly aware of it. Few minutes later I went for the door to get some fresh air, was hanging round there, where one mate spotted me and came to see what the issue was (Kato), I explained the situation and was soon joined by another (Mr Incredible), before I know it the 3 of us are marching up Wind Street in search of assistance.

Thanks to the sober Kato, and my insistence nobody calls 999, we located the said van and come 1:10 I was sat on a nebuliser (it''s been a while) regaining the ability to breathe! My blood o2 dropped to below 92% and I've soreness still now from struggling to breathe for so long, plus the cold weather etc. Bradley Edwards and Kevin Marsh, I owe grand style.

From there I hit McDonalds then got the bus home, eventful evening on the whole.

The weirdest part, most people seemed to think it was quite normal for:

• Batman
• Robin
• Superman
• Captain America (although there was no shield)
• Bananaman
• The Joker
• Kato
• Mr Incredible 

To be wandering round. Odd place Swansea :)

That represented the mid-section of my birthday weekend. Previously on the Friday I'd had a particularly excellent meal in Crickhowell. 20oz rump steak was awesome, large and awesome and last night, until snow coverage scared us home we were in Britain's Got Talent auditions (not preforming) and let's be fair, it was very average, but the, surprisingly chav-heavy, crowd cheered when the production staff wanted them too etc

Anyway, I better change the bio bit to say 30!

The whole world's a stage...

I'm going to be on TV!

Yesterday, around lunch time, my phone rang... 'Blocked' it said. I thought... no... can it be? The last time that appeared on my phone it was a producer from Pointless telling me (and of course Boucheron, teams of 2) that we'd passed the audition to appear on the show.

I eagerly answered the phone, hoping.. but expecting for some fecker to try and sell my mobile insurance or something. But no, it was good news that come the end of February our presence is requested to appear on the latest series of Pointless. Where of course we will smash it...

Now I've been on TV before, I was on fifteen-to-one as a bright eye'd and slightly gormless 18 year old, and was promptly dumped out in the first round. But I went to that with zero expectations, knowing that sonme of the people on that show could hand me my arse in a quiz, and as it was a quiz, my arse was promptly handed to me.

I (possibly) was in a crowd scene in Doctor Who once (The Vote Saxon episode) and I was on the Sport Wales in the background playing dodgeball once. Great stuff.

But this time, if the subjects fall OK etc, I think there's a possibility of us doing well. Who knows! Either way you'll be able to see our humiliation, or indeed rise to power in May type time on BBC1. I won't be able to tell anyone how we've done before it goes on air, or BBC snipers will find me and slay me deadshot style.

Only downside I can see is the rather strict wardrobe requirements, 5 outfits of particular styles and colours, now I'm a simple man (not that kind of simple) and honestly I don't own 5 outfits that meet this criteria, I barely own 5 outfits, so some shopping is required.

I am picking up my fancy dress costume for Saturday nights festivities (look out Swansea a minibus of superheroes is on route...) would a Batman outfit be good for use on the show? No? Well at least I asked!

3 days left til 30...

Nearly 30...

It's my birthday soon! (Cards are welcome, cash direct to my paypal account encouraged...)

This birthday will leave me ending with a zero, so it's a slightly bigger deal than the previous few birthdays and means I'll hit 30. As a result of the numerical magnitude, death of my youth, onset of middle age, etc, it has been decided to expand on my traditional few pints round town to visit the fair city of Abertawe, is there a theme? Of course it is... 80s cartoon characters (as I, and indeed they, were born in the 80s, see.. you follow??).

This leaves me with a dilemma, who do I go as, I've got ideas but they all feel a little obvious. Count Duckula, He Man, nothing is inspiring me at all. It has to be a male, the last twice I've ventured out on the wonderful lad of Wind Street I've been in a dress n tights... not this time! Even though it has to be said, I do have the legs to pull it off.

As well as my brick wall on ideas, I also have friends who are very good at this kind of thing, and who do put the effort in. This then pushes everyone else on to try, or else look stupid! A good effort will be made by my good self, I just don't know what yet.

What even counts? Does stuff such as Batman (yes I'm aware of the tights situation), which was a cartoon pre-80s but with some produced pre-80s too count? Ghostbusters? Bill n Ted? Cartoons, but ripped off from films? Who knows hey! The Simpsons was actually first produced in 1989, technically...

So any ideas are most welcome, I've currently got a massive 15 days til it's time so I better get my arse in gear. 

Early Learning Centre

Yesterday was my darling Gracie's 3rd birthday, much merriment was had and I think everyone enjoyed themselves thoroughly. However, not all went 100% according to plan.

As you may have read in the past bad service, especially in service industries bothers me, it bothers me greatly. So...

Last Friday we ordered a scooter (3 wheeled thing, we're not trying to kill her) from the wonderful shop that is the Early Learning Centre. They amazed me with next working day delivery... for FREE, a decent price for the item, which annoyingly we found 2 other places the same shortly after placing the order.

It looked beautiful (as scooters can be I suppose) pink, flashing lights, like an epileptic fit with wheels and adjustable handle bar height!

Now first annoyance, after expecting it the Tuesday we found a little note on their website, next day delivery on this particular Friday didn't actually mean it, obviously skip the bank hol, but then for some reason all orders would be delivered on the Wednesday, bit annoying, no big deal though as the birthday was the Thursday.

Morning breaks on a sleepy Wednesday morning in Merthyr Tydfil, I trundle my way down the a470 as I do every morning, back in Merthyr the entirely predictable plot plays itself out, hours pass, hours upon hours dawn does turn into day and day into evening and evening into getting quite late but still quite light (they deliver up til 9pm) and does the scooter show, of course it doesn't.

An excited 2-about-to-be-3-year-old wakes up in the morning of her birthday. She runs downstairs and opens her presents, she's very excited, but her parents feel bad, as one of her main presents is missing! While stuff goes on to distract, her wonderful and caring father (cough*me*cough) nips down to argos and buys an almost identical one for the same cost and gives that to her instead. Still any sign of Yodel, the ELC's unreliable delivery agents? Go on guess, I'll give you 2 goes...

So we head out to take Gracie for her wonderful birthday lunch over in Ebbw Vale Brewers Fayre, she loves it. We then visit family members, she loves it, we get back home at say 6:20 or so... delivery note! Eventually they've got to us and left it 2 houses down the road. Nice.

Suffice to say they'll be getting their scooter returned, and along with it will be a little complaint letter. If Argos has been out of stock I'd have had a very sad little 3 year old on my hands. Bastards.

Think it's worth writing to Watchdog?