We live in a very technological world, I'm pretty sure the non Amish readers I have would agree with that. Amish readers... you appear to be cheating, you better go...
However, despite this the sight of me slipping out my black sleeve and getting my little red one out incurs at best some funny looks, at worst some disdain! The people them selves can be put into one of a few categories:
- The over the shoulder reader - as if I'm up to something so interesting that they just have to see it. I have absolutely no idea what they're hoping to find on my screen, but as a general rule I'm assuming they leave disappointed. In a mild variation of this an OTSR has once been reading something I was producing, and was never intended to actually see the light of day (he seemed quite interested so maybe it's not all that rubbish) and decided to give me a grammar tip on the last bit I typed. Which I took and said thanks, as he was right.
- The WTF is that?? - I'm sure laptops, netbooks, tablets, kindles etc have been around for quite a time now, but still on occasion you'd swear we were in a cave and I just pulled a lighter out of my pocket and produced fire. These people tend to be older, as you'd expect, but to them the idea I can look on twitter (not that they'd probably know what twitter was) on my lap on the bus boggles their mind. I mean honestly, where's the wires!! If it was their day, and let's face it, their day was quite some time ago now I'd be trying to type this while tied to a stake on the village green, about to get a wicked tan.
- The mine is bigger than yours - On occasion the sight of my little friend sends some people flying into backpacks, holdalls etc and has them dragging out whatever device they are also carrying. For some people I've served as some kind of reminder, like an alarm clock for 3G, that they have something with them. For others it almost seems like I've laid down a challenge, as if I've gone, "Hello stranger on the bus, my nob is so big, let's see if you can top that bad boy." I've seen kindles, ipads, various android devices, fellow netbooks, laptops, even all of a sudden a spike in those HP pieces of crap that were sold off cheap and once, and I remember this, a brand new in box xbox 360 elite. The guy then proceeded to open the box and.. stroke it, that's the only way I can describe it... he stroked it. Once again, sometimes people simply use them, others they are almost like a geek off weapon, screens are tilted towards me to give me the chance to show my respect at the geek altar. Please just leave me alone!
- The conversation starter - These are the worst, particularly if they are sat next to you. I always dread hearing, "Oh what's that?" or, "Excuse me is that a Packard Bell Dot netbook." Now before I go any further, I'm an introvert, and a pretty severe one, I struggle in large groups or when weirdos some straight on to me, but I'm not (usually) rude, so I feel some need to respond, at least at first. But I really don't want to have a conversation about what version iTunes I'm running, if I know I can update the firmware on the graphics chipset, if I suffer from overheating after prolonged use (a little, but nothing drastic, there now never ask me again), battery performance through the years, or the relative speed of my 3G dongle compared to the 3G capabilities of an iPhone or iPad. (all of which have been real conversation I've experienced in the years of commuting with a computer). Headphones, usually the barrier between me and various people I don't want to speak too (works lovely on charity collectors in the street) are no boundary, to the point where hand gestures are used to gain attention, and once some dick puled out one of the headphones and said, "Ahh I didn't think you could hear me...".
- The suspicious mind - Some people think the Internet is for 2 things only, facebook and porn. Due to this some OTSR people check what I'm doing as opposed to being interested in reading it, they think they should make an assumption based on it. When my first reaction of the day isn't to open Facebook, they make the logical step too... porn, and assume that's where I'm headed. I've had people look at me in disgust and then look quite apologetic when the ATP site turns out to be the 'Association of Tennis Professionals' not 'Ass Tits and Poontang'. I've even one respectable looking gent get up and sit somewhere else before I've had chance to put my password in... on two separate occasions. Maybe he was allergic to red start up screens and championship manager?
There are normal people who realistically don't give a crap what I'm doing as long as it doesn't bother them, and kudos to these people. I like to think when netbook-less either by choice, battery or forgetfulness, I'm one of those people. I hope anyway, I'm weird enough as it is...
Oh and apologies to the eels for the title.
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